Clannad: Memoriam
by Clydes Shadow
Summary: Taking place after Episode 14 of the series, Tomoya wonders if he is developing feelings for his childhood friend Kotomi.


_**CLANNAD: Memoriam**_

**_CHAPTER 1_**

"The day before yesterday I saw a rabbit. Yesterday it was a deer, and today it was you...My Tomoya." Those words she said to him from the porch of her home were embedded within him. The memories had flowed back instantly of their time together as children. Her tear filled eyes, sparked something in his heart...a feeling he couldn't explain. The minute she took his outreached hand, he knew this was a strong emotion. As her birthday party commenced, he sat and wondered what these feelings were exactly. Were these the feelings of a reunited friendship? He wasn't sure, and this thought was keeping him from enjoying Kotomi's party.

"Hey Okazaki cheer up, it's a party after all! You shouldn't be sitting there, you should be dancing! WOOHOO!" Sunohara shouted, attempting to dance to the music Kyou brought with her.

"You're awfully loud for someone who didn't bring enough food for everyone! Plus you call that dancing? I've seen preschoolers dance better." Tomoya joked.

"Hey! Nobody told me Kyou was inviting all these people! I only brought enough for our normal group size. AND ARE YOU SAYING I CAN'T DANCE?!"

Kyou stealthy appeared behind Sunohara, and delivered a backhand to the back of his head. Sunohara yelped in pain like an animal from the blow he just received. Kyou grabbed him by his collar and shouted at him.

"So what are you saying?! Kotomi doesn't deserve to have this many people here for her birthday?! Plus it's a party, who doesn't bring enough food?!"

"That's not what I meant! You didn't have to hit me Kyou! Let go of me!" Sunohara said trying to restore his breathing.

Tomoya laughed at his best friend's misery. Seeing Sunohara in those situations, seemed to always brighten up his day. He turned, and made eye contact with Kotomi. He felt anxious all of a sudden, and could not seem to relax. He wanted to have fun and celebrate this wonderful occasion with his childhood friend. At the same time, he found himself blushing every time he looked her way. After mingling with some other guest for a bit, Kotomi came to sit down next to him.

"Tomoya, are you ok? You haven't eaten much...are you sick?"

She reached to check his temperature with her hand, and Tomoya jumped back nervously. Kotomi jumped a little as well, as she didn't she was shocked to see her childhood friend in this condition.

"I'm...I'm...I'm fine Kotomi. It's nothing, I just...had a big lunch earlier, that's it!"

She looked at him, wondering why he was acting this way. She thought maybe she did something wrong or something to upset him. Kyou, Ryou, and Nagisa went over to her and engaged in conversation once more. She tried keeping a straight face, but looked over at Tomoya who stood on the other side of the yard sipping his drink.

The sun was setting as the party came to an end. A majority of the guest had left by this time. Tomoya, and the other girls stayed to cleanup with Kotomi. Sunohara left with the excuse of doing homework, which everyone knew was a lie. In a matter of minutes, the greenery was restored to its original state, almost as if nothing ever occurred. Tomoya was swimming in his thoughts concerning Kotomi. He thought for a moment about disregarding these emotions, and just carry on as normal. However, the more he thought about keeping them from her, the stronger these feelings became.

"Well it took a while, but looks like we're done." Kyou exclaimed.

"It really didn't take us long at all did it?" Ryou agreed.

"It saves Kotomi the trouble from doing it later at least." Tomoya joked

"Oh Tomoya, you would probably do it by yourself if you could. Just like the garden." Kotomi winked.

He found himself blushing yet again. He knew she was right; he would take on this task alone if he could. Was it to impress her? Or was he just really a "helpful" person like he "gloated" to Kyou at school. All he knew was, he couldn't believe that this was the same girl, who up until a few days ago, was shying away behind his back.

"Hey guys, I'm going to leave with my parents now! Happy Birthday Kotomi! I'll see you tomorrow!" Nagisa said bowing to her friend.

"Thank you for coming Nagisa! See you tomorrow!"

Kyou and Ryou took this as an opportunity to leave as well. Kyou passed by Tomoya and whispered to him: "If you like her, just tell her already! Besides I thought you had a thing for Nagisa?"

"What are you talking about Kyou?! It's not like that!"

Kyou covered Tomoya's mouth to keep him from shouting, and shouted:

"SEE YOU TOMORROW KOTOMI!" as she ran off with Ryou

"Goodbye Kyou! Goodbye Ryou!"

Ryou followed her sister out of the yard, looking back at Tomoya and Kotomi. She turned to her sister, and was going to speak...but couldn't get the words out. Kyou slowed her pace to walk next to her sister, and said:

"Did you notice Tomoya acting a little funny Ryou?"

"He didn't seem like his usual self, if that's what you're asking. I wonder if he's sick?"

Kyou wondered if she jinxed herself days prior about Kotomi being a potential rival. She knew how much Ryou liked him, and didn't want to see her sister lose in the game of love. She whispered under her breath:

"Hmm, she might just be a rival after all..."

"What was that Kyou, I didn't hear you just now."

"Oh nothing, just thinking out loud sis, that's all."

Back at the house, Tomoya took the trash to the alley for pickup, and joined Kotomi inside who was already washing dishes from the party. He looked over at her smiling; when it finally dawned on him...they were alone. His heart started to race, as he remembered the words she said to him "My Tomoya". The last time he heard those words, his mother Atsuko used them. She would read him a story every night before bed, and would brush his hair with her hand. That would always put him to sleep, for it was warm and loving. When he looked into Kotomi's eyes that day she said that, he felt the same feelings. Though these were on a different scale than how his mother used them. She turned to him, and her gaze nearly stunned him.

"Tomoya...can we talk for a bit?"

"Sure thing Kotomi, what's the matter?"

She went over to sit down on the couch, and motioned him to sit with her. He followed her lead and sat next to her. He couldn't seem to look at her, just sat nervously looking at the sliding door that lead to the backyard.

"Tomoya, did I do something to upset you? I noticed you've been acting a little jumpy ever since the party. Is there something wrong?"

"No, you didn't do anything wrong Kotomi. I...just been thinking a lot about things."

"What were you thinking about?" Kotomi wondered, hoping to see if she could help.

"Well...remember the other day when I woke up in the yard?"

"Yes, you looked so adorable sleeping there, I didn't want to wake you up."

Tomoya blushed yet again, and seemed to struggle to get the rest of his words out. He took a deep breath and continued with his confession.

"Well...umm...there was something you said to me that day, I've been thinking about."

"What is it?"

He turned, and saw her eyes stare at him in wonderment. She looked so adorable to him at that moment, and he couldn't help from blushing even more. He stood up and turned away from her.

"Nevermind, it's nothing..."

"Tomoya wait, what's wrong?!" Kotomi said as she grabbed his arm.

As he turned, he felt the carpet slip from under him, as he fell towards her. He ended up falling on top of her, with Kotomi falling back on the couch. At this point, they were both blushing, and close enough for anything to happen. She looked at him, with her heart pounding loud and hard.

"Tomoya...I...umm...I..."

"Kotomi...I'm sorry" he said, getting up and breaking the trance.

He jumped back up, and was now more embarrassed than he was before. Kotomi found herself now uncomfortable...probably just as much as Tomoya was. She regained her composure, and attempted continue their conversation.

"It's alright...what was it you were going to tell me?"

"It's nothing...well it's getting late, I should be going now."

"Oh...alright then...I'll see you out." Kotomi said as she followed him to the door.

He got to the door and still had his back to her. He couldn't face her after nearly crushing her on her couch. Keeping his back to her, he turned his head and said:

"See you tomorrow Kotomi. I hope you had a great birthday!"

"I did, thank you so much Tomoya." Kotomi smiled

He started to walk away, before she startled him with one last request.

"Tomoya wait a second." Kotomi said with a skittish voice.

As soon as he turned in her direction, Kotomi's lips met his cheek for the sweetest kiss imaginable. For what felt like an eternity, only lasted a second. He jumped yet again, as they both blushed in unison. Before he could say anything she looked at him with a smile and said:

"See you tomorrow...My Tomoya"

As she closed the door, he stood in the yard stiff as a statue. He got the answer that haunted him all day, but didn't think it would be given like this. The feelings he had felt for the last few days made sense now. It wasn't the feelings of being reunited with a childhood friend. Though that was part of it, the meaning was so much deeper. The moment he looked into her eyes, held her hand, and now the touch of her soft lips on his cheek. She had admitted her feelings for him that day, but the words she said didn't click in his mind until now. Now there was no mistake about it now. Tomoya Okazaki was in love, and her name was Kotomi Ichinose.


End file.
